A Vacation - Not So Much

On Friday, after the girls had finished VBS, we headed up to Shaver Lake for our annual camping trip with Traci's family. Everybody else wasn't arriving until Saturday, but her parents wanted an extra day for us, so we went. This is usually an enjoyable trip and a good time for relaxing, eating and playing. This year was different.

I was still sick (with the cold) when we left Friday. The drive up wasn't horrible, but I wasn't feeling well. Nonetheless we made it up there. I continued to feel sick on Saturday as well when everyone else was arriving and setting up. At one point, I went back to the trailer and just rested for a while. Fortunately, this was the last day I felt sick. Unfortunately, it was replaced by other issues.

The next day, the depression seemed to take over and I really didn't feel like being there. I didn't want to go to the lake. I didn't want to fake my way through the rest of the trip. I didn't want people to notice anything was wrong. I just did not want to be around people at all, especially people who know me and could probably tell if I wasn't acting like myself. But I continued on with the trip and had to deal with one incident of my mother-in-law grilling me as to why I didn't seem happy to be there. I eventually told her it was because it's not like how it used to be and that the crowd has changed. That was partly true, but a minor factor in the way I was feeling.

The truth is, I was getting down because I realized all the money people were spending or had spent while camping and that we had paid nothing. We were the freeloaders. Although my in laws didn't mind this, it didn't help how I was feeling. This was a feeling that would not leave for the remainder of the trip. It really put a damper on this year's trip.

The drive home was ok. I got pretty frustrated when we one of the girls was getting ice cream all over herself and seat. Just one of those things that when I was in the mood I was in, it can really get to me and downgrade me quickly, which it did.

Eventually we made it home and back to life at our house. I was looking forward to the rest of the week at home. I had no idea that it would turn out the way it did.