The End

Since things seem to be going very well right now, I plan on this being the last posting on this blog forever, hopefully. It has been good to use to get my feelings out and to document what this horrible time of life has been like. It has definitely the toughest time of my life and marriage and for my family. Fortunately, we all made it through it. I would horrible if we didn't.

God blessed me with Traci as the perfect wife for me. She stood by the vows she made with me on our wedding day without any hesitation despite how I acted and sometimes treated her. Courtney and Skyler still seem to love me as much as ever and I am thankful for their resilience. You gotta love that about kids!

This was my second week back at work (first full week, seventh day to be exact) and it already feels like I was never gone. Work is piling up faster than I can handle it, but that just means I'm like everybody else. It will keep me busy and that is a good thing. Despite many meetings and needing to leave early today, I felt like I was very productive and that felt very good, something I didn't feel while in the depths of darkness.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today and she seemed very happy with where I'm at and the mix of drugs I'm on. They seem to working and so we'll stay with them for a minimum of six months and then think about possibly starting to get off them, but I'll worry about that when the time comes. As for now, things are good. I'm happy, feeling good, enjoying life and back in my normal routine. In general things are pretty much back to normal. i do have to say, though, that I have a somewhat greater appreciation for life. At the darkest times, it didn't seem like it was worth going on in life. Fortunately, God got through to me even though I didn't want to hear it. Hopefully I can use this experience somewhere down the road to help someone or maybe it will come in handy if it turns out to be hereditary and I have to deal with one (or both) of the kids dealing with it. Regardless, I have learned that I can really just take life one day at a time. I just take what comes at me and deal with it as best I can. God will always be with me, and that will never change. I've always felt God has big plans for me. Maybe, just maybe, this has all had something to do with that. Another thing I have learned is that God provides and His timing is always perfect.

Life is Good!

The longer between posts, the better. It's now December and we're in full Christmas preparation mode. Things are still going great for me. I got frustrated this week when I went back to work on Monday for a few hours before being told that I needed to go home since I hadn't been cleared to go back to work. It's a long story so I'll try to summarize. The company that manages disability for my work sent out return to work paperwork later than they should have, which meant I couldn't get clearance in time to return on November 30 like I was supposed to. Then between work and the other company, I was being told to do two different things to take the next step. Finally I got it straightened out, and now have my fit for duty test scheduled for this Monday at 11:00, which means that if all goes well, I should be back in the office Tuesday morning...finally.

Thanksgiving weekend went well. No stress for me there as we were able to spend a lot of time with Susie, Adam and Bella. We even did an impromptu sleepover at my parents' house Friday night. It was a lot of fun. We played a lot of games after the kids were asleep. Then on Saturday, we took family pictures at JC Penney with us, my parents, Susie, Adam and Bella and my grandma and uncle. They came out really good.

I just got back from an appointment with my therapist and it sounds like I may have only have one more appointment with her (in two weeks). After that, if everything is going well, I won't need to see her, although I'll continue seeing the psychiatrist monthly, I assume to monitor the med's I'm on.

So all in all, life is good. I'm feeling pretty normal and good and looking forward to getting back into the swing of things at work this next week. I'm really hoping I continue to feel this way. If I do, there may not be many more posts here, which would be a good thing in my eyes...or fingers.