The End

Since things seem to be going very well right now, I plan on this being the last posting on this blog forever, hopefully. It has been good to use to get my feelings out and to document what this horrible time of life has been like. It has definitely the toughest time of my life and marriage and for my family. Fortunately, we all made it through it. I would horrible if we didn't.

God blessed me with Traci as the perfect wife for me. She stood by the vows she made with me on our wedding day without any hesitation despite how I acted and sometimes treated her. Courtney and Skyler still seem to love me as much as ever and I am thankful for their resilience. You gotta love that about kids!

This was my second week back at work (first full week, seventh day to be exact) and it already feels like I was never gone. Work is piling up faster than I can handle it, but that just means I'm like everybody else. It will keep me busy and that is a good thing. Despite many meetings and needing to leave early today, I felt like I was very productive and that felt very good, something I didn't feel while in the depths of darkness.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today and she seemed very happy with where I'm at and the mix of drugs I'm on. They seem to working and so we'll stay with them for a minimum of six months and then think about possibly starting to get off them, but I'll worry about that when the time comes. As for now, things are good. I'm happy, feeling good, enjoying life and back in my normal routine. In general things are pretty much back to normal. i do have to say, though, that I have a somewhat greater appreciation for life. At the darkest times, it didn't seem like it was worth going on in life. Fortunately, God got through to me even though I didn't want to hear it. Hopefully I can use this experience somewhere down the road to help someone or maybe it will come in handy if it turns out to be hereditary and I have to deal with one (or both) of the kids dealing with it. Regardless, I have learned that I can really just take life one day at a time. I just take what comes at me and deal with it as best I can. God will always be with me, and that will never change. I've always felt God has big plans for me. Maybe, just maybe, this has all had something to do with that. Another thing I have learned is that God provides and His timing is always perfect.