The Talk

Once we went to bed after playing games, we laid there for a few minutes silently. I could feel like we needed to talk (and I knew we needed to). Once the silence was broken, we began to talk. I forget who talked first. I had feelings to get out in very few words. Traci on the other hand had a lot to say.

This was easily the hardest talk we have ever had. I know she expressed a lot of concern and a did a lot of crying, as could be expected from and a concerned and upset wife. I know she expressed a lot of concern and feelings about how I had acted all day. The one thing I remember her saying from the conversation was that she felt I had given up on her and the kids. While that hurt to hear, I felt nearly emotionless at the time, too wrapped up in how I was feeling and the distance I had created from the isolation. Most times when we have a serious talk and tears are involved, I'm right there emotionally, but this night was different, and I didn't like it. I felt so distant which didn't bother me much at the time. In hindsight, it was a surefire sign of how low I had gotten from all this. While I don't know what the future holds, I hope it doesn't include another talk or night like this.

Eventually we fell asleep and that was the end of the day...thankfully...finally.